Unapologetically Me

Life is full of twists and turns, ups and downs and with extremely high highs, you are bound to experience extremely low -lows. I am in the middle of a transition moment on this roller coaster ride, where I am extremely happy. I have a loving and loved husband, two beautiful children, a career in which I am passionate and have experienced success beyond my years. But. for some reason I am still coming off a season of sadness.

I still experience loneliness about the people who are not in the place where I would like for them to be. I find myself worried that the shoe will drop and everything will fall. I have been a victim of wanting everything that life advertises and as much as I try to prepare and cope, I have learned that there is no such thing as having it all, at the same time, at least. I have spent an abnormal amount of time guarding my heart, based on past traumatic experiences, that I will call transitions, to the point that I have forgotten how to live and be.

As I am experiencing this new transition, I am blessed to have people who support me. I can wear the dress that shows the lumps and bumps, I can laugh and not take myself so seriously. I can cry, taking my soul to the laundromat. I can laugh and scream and be raw. It is important that my children know that everything is not always going to be alright but it will be okay.

I am a human being with hopes that we can grow together and show the definition of real love. It is very easy to tell someone that they have to love themselves. Saying and doing it are two different things On this journey, learning to love me, not for who I was, but who I am. I am proiud of myself. As I was feverishly planning my life out, I want everyone to know that you don’t always have to live up to the gigantic expectations that you have for yourself or that others have for you.

You may not have the perfect body, career or partner. Parenthood may not always be exactly what society trained you to think it would be. But, affirm what you have. Understand that a growth mindset is sometimes about waking up and loving who you are. You can grow and evolve. You can be a different person in the hour. Learn to be in the moment and be present. So much of our pain is tied to failed expectation. So much of our life is learning to prep and guard, but be present. The more you embrace those things, know you are not alone, even if you are sometimes lonely.

So go out and live life to your expectations, whatever that may be.